My Wife She Has A Coonhound
7/16/2005 9:18:41 AM
By Barbara Ray
Adapted from a work "My Wife She Has A Horse" by Author Unknown
My wife she has a big ol' Coonhound, with a long and curving tail.
She thinks he is the finest thing that ever ran a trail.
She calls him Strikin' Squiggly, and if the truth I tell,
That fancy, pampered Black and Tan has made my life pure hell.
My wife, she used to cook for me delicious meals and how!
But now she'd rather feed that hound and fix him special chow.
She runs him every morning; she grooms him half the night.
And the last time that she kissed ME was just to be polite.
He dresses better than I do, with matching collars, coats and leads.
My wardrobe's so neglected now that I attract the fleas.
One day my wife was shopping, for icy- weather "doggy socks",
And fancy, pampered SQUIGGLY was just standing on his box.
He looked so smug and sassy, that I began to grin.
I'd leash that spoiled sucker and take him for a spin!!
I've wondered since if the cues I gave, he may have misconstrued,
Before I could remove the leash he simply came unglued!
He lunged forward, bawled and bayed then drug me through a fence.
I flipped and flailed and saw big stars and 6 teeth I've never heard from since.
My wife came home and saw me there, just lying in the dirt.
She rushed up to her HOUND and asked him, "Sweetheart, are you HURT?"
He'd scratched his nose a tiny bit, and the memory galls me yet….
She left me lying in the mud and ran to call the VET!!!
Submitted by Barbara Ray
Willowind Black and Tans
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